Sometimes

Sometimes I found myself in the verge of tears.
Sometimes I do know why, but other times I dont, but I have a feeling that fills every inch of me, a feeling that I cannot stop. I find myself smiling, feeling grateful for the life I have, remembering phrases, faces, people that surrond me, thinking of the beauty we dont see, the beauty hidden in things like sunsets, for example; I completely adore sunsets, tehy fill me with a j"e ne c 'est pas". I also find myself thinking of the fear, that same old, same old we know from so long ago; at first it was darkness, the cuckoo, now it knows exactly which form to take to scare us to hell; to fell that we are nothing, nothing at all, to know that all our effort's just not enough, to consider, only to consider the most dreadful things, even though we KNOW they're not true...
And suddenly I have to make an effort to stop myself from crying; close my eyes and take a deep breath, concentrate in retain every teardrop on me. And sometimes I cannot do that, and tears run through my cheeks to my clothes and thre is nothing I can do, nothing I can say to myself... I just have to let the energy flow through me, as if it was meant to be that way.


As Freud said; the energy has to be released.